This is the last song on my CD. It was also the title that I wrote on the CD as well, because I guess in a way, I think it sums up every other song on there. It's a declaration to God that I'm choosing to look to Him. I'm choosing to not let myself be overwhelmed. I'm choosing to ask for His vision on it all. I'm choosing to handle the situation with wisdom. And it's all for one reason. Because OUR GOD REIGNS. Hallelujah, our God reigns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR5IoWH9OiI
If you took the time to listen to the entire song, you obviously noticed how often it repeats itself. For those of us who grew up in the traditional Reformed church, all that repeating may seem kind of silly. We said that already--why not say something new? God heard us the first time, right? There's no point in repeating. Didn't we mean it the first time around? Well yes, but...
I see repeating as a benefit for ourselves. There's physically only about 12 inches between our minds and our hearts, but spiritually that distance is often times much, much further. We know the right answers. We know our God reigns. We know He's in control. We know He loves us. We know, we know, we know. But what about our HEARTS?
I think we need to repeat because our mind has to go through a couple different steps before it's able to pass on all that wonderful information down to our hearts. Maybe at first, we just find ourselves singing along because everyone else is. Then we realize that we've said the same thing quite a few times now and we think "Wait a minute, what am I really saying here?" So then even though our mouths are moving and saying the words on the screen, our minds are working on really processing what is being said.
Maybe we're thinking something like: Our God REIGNS?? That means that absolutely nothing surprises Him. That means that He knows absolutely everything that is going on in this world. That means that He knows absolutely everything that is going on in ME. That means that there's nothing that He can't do. That means that EVERYTHING finds their meaning and purpose and fulfillment and satisfaction in God alone. That means that He is totally worthy of all my trust, all my praise, all my honor, all my love, all my devotion.
Then our minds are finally able to send that down to our hearts. All this stuff that we've known for so long but we've never really understood. Our hearts are finally getting the message! We're finally realizing that this King that reigns is the great Lover of our soul. It's the greatest feeling when the Spirit brings revelation to your heart and gives you epiphany feeling!
And then, our hearts & minds tune back into the song and we're singing wholeheartedly to the God who reigns. We can't wipe the smile off our face or the goosebumps on our arms.
HALLELUJAH, OUR GOD REIGNS!!
That's my hope for you when you listen to this song or any other song, whether it repeats itself or not. That the Spirit will help your mind be able to send the message 12 inches down to your heart and bring that epiphany feeling. :)
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Remind Me...
Remind Me Once Again by Jason Gray
I remember the first time I saw this music video. I was helping out a weekend retreat for some 7th grade girls. I thought it was really cool how everyone's labels changed to Beloved and I remember praying that the girls would understand the Truth in the song! Yet, I also felt detached from it. I felt like I couldn't relate. By God's grace, I was blessed to have a solid understanding of who I am in Christ and how Jesus felt about me personally. In other words, I didn't feel like I needed to be reminded of who I am to Christ. I felt like I understood really well and couldn't see myself ever forget it!
I was wrong.
I did forget.
I feel labeled.
I need that song.
Over the past few months, almost every time I talk to someone, I am constantly wondering one of three things:
1) Do they know about Matt & me? Are they going to ask something about it?
2) I know they know...I wonder if they want to ask me how I'm doing but don't dare?
3) What do they think of me that Matt broke up with me?
It's like my identity is centered around this breakup. What happened to my identity being rooted in Christ? What happened to me having confidence in what Jesus thought of me and that alone defining who I was?
It definitely makes me think of other people who feel labeled out there. I feel like my breakup was slightly like a divorce, so it certainly makes me wonder how people who have gotten a divorce feel. It makes me think of people who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock. It makes me think of someone who's been raped or abused--or even someone who has raped or abused another. It makes me think of someone caught in alcoholism or homosexual desires or gambling or maybe a sin not so "severe." Maybe someone who struggles with anger management or anxiety or materialism or perfectionism.
I had been given the wonderful gift of understanding my identity in Christ, but in the process, I had forgotten how those who do feel labeled feel. But Jesus has once again used this situation for good. Now I can say that I really, truly understand.
I understand how it feels to be having a conversation with someone and the whole time you can't help but wonder what they're thinking of you and if they know what you've done or what's happened to you.
I understand how it feels to have it seem like everyone is acting differently around you because they're not sure how you'll react.
I understand how it feels to feel like this label is going to define the rest of your life.
Without this situation, I wouldn't be able to relate to those who feel labeled and honestly be able to tell them that I know how they feel. I wouldn't be able to offer them compassion and an understanding heart. The most I would probably be able to say is "I'm so sorry. Can I pray for you?" But now I'll be able to do and say so much more!
I'll be able to tell them about my personal experience (not some friend that I heard about). I'll be able to share with them how hard and painful and frustrating the process of healing is. I'll be able to help them make daily choices that lead towards healing rather than bitterness. I'll be able to encourage them to keep fighting for the peace & joy that Jesus offers us.
I'll be able to give them CD's with songs like "Remind Me Once Again" on it. I'll be able to point them to the countless words of affirmation from the Lord of how He feels about them specifically. I'll be able to empathize with them that I know how hard it can be to believe that those words are actually true about them, but that we need to fight to believe the Truth.
I'm remembering. Each day, my identity is being more and more reminded of who I am in Christ. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm getting there. God is good :)
"I can't remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain."
I remember the first time I saw this music video. I was helping out a weekend retreat for some 7th grade girls. I thought it was really cool how everyone's labels changed to Beloved and I remember praying that the girls would understand the Truth in the song! Yet, I also felt detached from it. I felt like I couldn't relate. By God's grace, I was blessed to have a solid understanding of who I am in Christ and how Jesus felt about me personally. In other words, I didn't feel like I needed to be reminded of who I am to Christ. I felt like I understood really well and couldn't see myself ever forget it!
I was wrong.
I did forget.
I feel labeled.
I need that song.
Over the past few months, almost every time I talk to someone, I am constantly wondering one of three things:
1) Do they know about Matt & me? Are they going to ask something about it?
2) I know they know...I wonder if they want to ask me how I'm doing but don't dare?
3) What do they think of me that Matt broke up with me?
It's like my identity is centered around this breakup. What happened to my identity being rooted in Christ? What happened to me having confidence in what Jesus thought of me and that alone defining who I was?
It definitely makes me think of other people who feel labeled out there. I feel like my breakup was slightly like a divorce, so it certainly makes me wonder how people who have gotten a divorce feel. It makes me think of people who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock. It makes me think of someone who's been raped or abused--or even someone who has raped or abused another. It makes me think of someone caught in alcoholism or homosexual desires or gambling or maybe a sin not so "severe." Maybe someone who struggles with anger management or anxiety or materialism or perfectionism.
I had been given the wonderful gift of understanding my identity in Christ, but in the process, I had forgotten how those who do feel labeled feel. But Jesus has once again used this situation for good. Now I can say that I really, truly understand.
I understand how it feels to be having a conversation with someone and the whole time you can't help but wonder what they're thinking of you and if they know what you've done or what's happened to you.
I understand how it feels to have it seem like everyone is acting differently around you because they're not sure how you'll react.
I understand how it feels to feel like this label is going to define the rest of your life.
Without this situation, I wouldn't be able to relate to those who feel labeled and honestly be able to tell them that I know how they feel. I wouldn't be able to offer them compassion and an understanding heart. The most I would probably be able to say is "I'm so sorry. Can I pray for you?" But now I'll be able to do and say so much more!
I'll be able to tell them about my personal experience (not some friend that I heard about). I'll be able to share with them how hard and painful and frustrating the process of healing is. I'll be able to help them make daily choices that lead towards healing rather than bitterness. I'll be able to encourage them to keep fighting for the peace & joy that Jesus offers us.
I'll be able to give them CD's with songs like "Remind Me Once Again" on it. I'll be able to point them to the countless words of affirmation from the Lord of how He feels about them specifically. I'll be able to empathize with them that I know how hard it can be to believe that those words are actually true about them, but that we need to fight to believe the Truth.
I'm remembering. Each day, my identity is being more and more reminded of who I am in Christ. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm getting there. God is good :)
"I can't remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain."
Monday, June 17, 2013
You Know Me
Almost finished with my list of songs from the CD I listened to day in and day out over the past weeks. This one is based on Psalm 139 --check it out in the AMP version!
Sometimes this Truth--that God knows me intimately--was a hard one for me to believe. Even though He had revealed this Truth to me years before, I found myself going back to thinking that maybe God knows what's going on in my life in general--but to know every detail? I don't know...I wanted to believe it, but it sure didn't feel like it all the time.
If you're ever feeling the same way, I hope you can turn to this Psalm and song and ask the Lord to help you fully believe the Truth too!
I appreciated this photo I found online to go with it. :)
You Know Me
You have been
And You will be
You have seen
And You will see
You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
And still You know me
You have been
And You will be
And You have seen
And You will see
You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
And still You know me
And nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You find me
And You know every detail of my life
And You are God and You don't miss a thing
And nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You find me
And You know every detail of my life
And You are God and You don't miss a thing
You memorize me
Sometimes this Truth--that God knows me intimately--was a hard one for me to believe. Even though He had revealed this Truth to me years before, I found myself going back to thinking that maybe God knows what's going on in my life in general--but to know every detail? I don't know...I wanted to believe it, but it sure didn't feel like it all the time.
If you're ever feeling the same way, I hope you can turn to this Psalm and song and ask the Lord to help you fully believe the Truth too!
I appreciated this photo I found online to go with it. :)
You Know Me
You have been
And You will be
You have seen
And You will see
You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
And still You know me
You have been
And You will be
And You have seen
And You will see
You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
And still You know me
And nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You find me
And You know every detail of my life
And You are God and You don't miss a thing
And nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You find me
And You know every detail of my life
And You are God and You don't miss a thing
You memorize me
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Impressed
I have gained a whole new level of respect for someone in the Bible recently. Wonder who? He's really not talked about all that much...at least not in the circles I grew up in. But I think his story represents God's unfailing, unconditional covenant love for His Bride better than any other story in the Bible.
Any guesses??
Hosea!
And why do I respect him so much? Well think about it! From what it seems, the very first words that Hosea hears from God are "Go and marry a prostitute." I don't know about you, but if I though I heard those words from God, I'd sure be questioning if I heard right. A prostitute? But why?
The Lord goes on to say "This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the Lord and worshiping other gods." So okay, God explains His command clear enough to Hosea. At that point, I would probably believe that what I was hearing was really from the Lord. But now the question is:
would I actually obey??
Seriously, what a command! I'm sure it would already be terribly painful to marry someone and then they commit adultery against you. But think about going into the marriage knowing it's just a matter of time until your spouse cheats on you! And more so than that, this Gomer was a prostitute even before they got married. The social stigma to go along with someone marrying a prostitute now-a-days is pretty bad, but I can just imagine how degrading it would have been back in Hosea's day. I can only imagine that his family would disown him, his friends would have left him, and he'd be the talk of the town.
But he does it. He obeys the Lord and marries a prostitute. Then to make matters more painful, the children Gomer bears are given horrible prophetic names. Can you imagine having to call your child "Not Loved" or "Not Mine"? How sweet...
I can just imagine how terribly broken Hosea's heart must have been. I wonder if there was ever a time that He questioned why the Lord would ask such a terribly hard thing of him? Why would He put him through so much pain and heartache? Why would his calling be to marry a prostitute and have children of unfaithfulness?
I think it's all in how you look at it. Sure, he could say his calling is to marry a prostitute. Or he could say that his calling is to illustrate the Lord's own heartache and love for His Bride. When you put it that way--is there really any better calling from God? To help the Lord's people understand how crazy much He loves them. Sure, the calling is still just as painful, but it sounds a lot more beautiful & redemption filled than "marrying a whore."
And sorry, I can't help but compare parts of Hosea's story to my own. Recently I've been thinking, What if God had told me before starting my relationship with Matt that we were going to have a great relationship, get engaged, and then he was going to break it off? I'd definitely question if I was hearing things right. Then what if He explained that it would illustrate how much Jesus longs to marry His Bride, and She doesn't want Him; She's not prepared. Would I have still done it? Uh...
If I had known all along that this is how things would end, I can't imagine actually being able to love Matt very well. I feel like I would be regretting the day we get engaged knowing that it would only be a matter of time until he decided to break things off. Maybe I wouldn't even say yes to his proposal! And I feel like as much as I would try to put those thoughts out of my mind, I wouldn't be able to help but be kind of resentful towards him for what he was going to do in the future. Or maybe I would try to do anything in my power to keep him from breaking up.
I can really only guess what I would have done. And I'm not saying that I know for sure that the Lord actually wanted to use this whole relationship and the ending result to illustrate anything specific about His love or whatever....
All I'm saying is that I'm very, very impressed with Hosea. He obeyed a super hard command. And I definitely understand now more than ever how hard that command really was. So thanks, Hosea, for your remarkable obedience. For helping the Israelites and the Church alike better understand God's amazing, unconditional love that never ever, ever gives up on His Bride.
And now to end with the beautiful words from Hosea 2:19-20
I will make you My wife forever,
showing you righteousness and justice,
unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you Mine,
and you will finally know Me as the Lord.
Any guesses??
Hosea!
And why do I respect him so much? Well think about it! From what it seems, the very first words that Hosea hears from God are "Go and marry a prostitute." I don't know about you, but if I though I heard those words from God, I'd sure be questioning if I heard right. A prostitute? But why?
The Lord goes on to say "This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the Lord and worshiping other gods." So okay, God explains His command clear enough to Hosea. At that point, I would probably believe that what I was hearing was really from the Lord. But now the question is:
would I actually obey??
Seriously, what a command! I'm sure it would already be terribly painful to marry someone and then they commit adultery against you. But think about going into the marriage knowing it's just a matter of time until your spouse cheats on you! And more so than that, this Gomer was a prostitute even before they got married. The social stigma to go along with someone marrying a prostitute now-a-days is pretty bad, but I can just imagine how degrading it would have been back in Hosea's day. I can only imagine that his family would disown him, his friends would have left him, and he'd be the talk of the town.
But he does it. He obeys the Lord and marries a prostitute. Then to make matters more painful, the children Gomer bears are given horrible prophetic names. Can you imagine having to call your child "Not Loved" or "Not Mine"? How sweet...
I can just imagine how terribly broken Hosea's heart must have been. I wonder if there was ever a time that He questioned why the Lord would ask such a terribly hard thing of him? Why would He put him through so much pain and heartache? Why would his calling be to marry a prostitute and have children of unfaithfulness?
I think it's all in how you look at it. Sure, he could say his calling is to marry a prostitute. Or he could say that his calling is to illustrate the Lord's own heartache and love for His Bride. When you put it that way--is there really any better calling from God? To help the Lord's people understand how crazy much He loves them. Sure, the calling is still just as painful, but it sounds a lot more beautiful & redemption filled than "marrying a whore."
And sorry, I can't help but compare parts of Hosea's story to my own. Recently I've been thinking, What if God had told me before starting my relationship with Matt that we were going to have a great relationship, get engaged, and then he was going to break it off? I'd definitely question if I was hearing things right. Then what if He explained that it would illustrate how much Jesus longs to marry His Bride, and She doesn't want Him; She's not prepared. Would I have still done it? Uh...
If I had known all along that this is how things would end, I can't imagine actually being able to love Matt very well. I feel like I would be regretting the day we get engaged knowing that it would only be a matter of time until he decided to break things off. Maybe I wouldn't even say yes to his proposal! And I feel like as much as I would try to put those thoughts out of my mind, I wouldn't be able to help but be kind of resentful towards him for what he was going to do in the future. Or maybe I would try to do anything in my power to keep him from breaking up.
I can really only guess what I would have done. And I'm not saying that I know for sure that the Lord actually wanted to use this whole relationship and the ending result to illustrate anything specific about His love or whatever....
All I'm saying is that I'm very, very impressed with Hosea. He obeyed a super hard command. And I definitely understand now more than ever how hard that command really was. So thanks, Hosea, for your remarkable obedience. For helping the Israelites and the Church alike better understand God's amazing, unconditional love that never ever, ever gives up on His Bride.
And now to end with the beautiful words from Hosea 2:19-20
I will make you My wife forever,
showing you righteousness and justice,
unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you Mine,
and you will finally know Me as the Lord.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Waiting Counts Too
I like to think that I have a little thing with God and books. I think He likes to help me pick out the perfect book to read at just the right time so that basically every word applies to my current life situation. That couldn't be more true for the book I'm reading now: If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. When I started reading the book, I really didn't have much of a reason. It was simply lying around the house, and I didn't want to watch TV. At first it was about taking risks, ya know--get out of the boat. So I thought of it a lot in relation to what I was going to do for a job, where to live, etc. Pretty applicable for sure, but now he's moved on to some even more applicable things.
I just finished a chapter titled "Learning to Wait." If you've read any of my other blogposts, you can understand why this was so relevant.
Well, I appreciated this chapter so much that I even took the time to scan all 10 pages for your own benefit, as well. Maybe you don't need it all that much right now, but someday you will. The author agrees with me that "Every one of us, at some junctures of our lies, will have to learn to wait." So whether you like it or not, this chapter is going to apply to you at some time. And when it does, I hope that it can benefit you as much as it did me. So here I am--passing it on, because I think it's just oh so nice to realize that you're not the only one who feels what you're feeling sometimes. :)
Learning to Wait
It's pretty long, and it definitely can't be finished in a 10 minute sitting. But I also underlined some of my favorite parts...so maybe you can scroll through and find those for now. The title of this blog is close to the end. It talks about a passage from Isaiah that is near and dear to my heart.
I just finished a chapter titled "Learning to Wait." If you've read any of my other blogposts, you can understand why this was so relevant.
Well, I appreciated this chapter so much that I even took the time to scan all 10 pages for your own benefit, as well. Maybe you don't need it all that much right now, but someday you will. The author agrees with me that "Every one of us, at some junctures of our lies, will have to learn to wait." So whether you like it or not, this chapter is going to apply to you at some time. And when it does, I hope that it can benefit you as much as it did me. So here I am--passing it on, because I think it's just oh so nice to realize that you're not the only one who feels what you're feeling sometimes. :)
Learning to Wait
It's pretty long, and it definitely can't be finished in a 10 minute sitting. But I also underlined some of my favorite parts...so maybe you can scroll through and find those for now. The title of this blog is close to the end. It talks about a passage from Isaiah that is near and dear to my heart.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
You're Making My Heart a Garden
Have you ever read The Shack? Definitely recommended for a different take on God :) A few years ago, Dordt's Pastor Baart talked about that book and then played the following song. He was talking about the part of the book where the Holy Spirit is working in a garden and the main character (I don't remember his name) comes up and asks the Holy Spirit what He's doing. He's working away, tearing up some weeds and planting other beautiful plants in their place.Turns out that He's working on a garden of the main character's heart. I don't remember exactly how it all goes, but I like the analogy a lot. :) Plus, I like to think about God going for a walk in the Garden of Eden. I want my heart to be lovely enough for God to want to come take a walk in. Song of Songs also talks about gardens a lot. I've mentioned this before. :)
Anyway, enjoy the song! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnDSWPWiELo
In the cool of the day
You come and meet me
All the blue fades away
The stars are winking
Your love's so strong
I can't recall
What was this thing
They called the fall?
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
Oh, why would I hide
Away from Your face
When the light of Your love
Illuminates
Your hand in mine
A steady line
Drawn on my heart
And deep in my mind
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
All the broken are mending
The mournful rejoicing
Seeing through tears
Of peace overflowing
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
Yeah, You walk with me
You never leave
You're making our world a garden
Anyway, enjoy the song! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnDSWPWiELo
In the cool of the day
You come and meet me
All the blue fades away
The stars are winking
Your love's so strong
I can't recall
What was this thing
They called the fall?
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
Oh, why would I hide
Away from Your face
When the light of Your love
Illuminates
Your hand in mine
A steady line
Drawn on my heart
And deep in my mind
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
All the broken are mending
The mournful rejoicing
Seeing through tears
Of peace overflowing
And You walk with me
You never leave
You're making my heart a garden
Yeah, You walk with me
You never leave
You're making our world a garden
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