Remind Me...

Remind Me Once Again by Jason Gray
I remember the first time I saw this music video. I was helping out a weekend retreat for some 7th grade girls. I thought it was really cool how everyone's labels changed to Beloved and I remember praying that the girls would understand the Truth in the song! Yet, I also felt detached from it. I felt like I couldn't relate. By God's grace, I was blessed to have a solid understanding of who I am in Christ and how Jesus felt about me personally. In other words, I didn't feel like I needed to be reminded of who I am to Christ. I felt like I understood really well and couldn't see myself ever forget it!

I was wrong.
I did forget.
I feel labeled.
I need that song.

Over the past few months, almost every time I talk to someone, I am constantly wondering one of three things:
1) Do they know about Matt & me? Are they going to ask something about it?
2) I know they know...I wonder if they want to ask me how I'm doing but don't dare?
3) What do they think of me that Matt broke up with me?
It's like my identity is centered around this breakup. What happened to my identity being rooted in Christ? What happened to me having confidence in what Jesus thought of me and that alone defining who I was?

It definitely makes me think of other people who feel labeled out there. I feel like my breakup was slightly like a divorce, so it certainly makes me wonder how people who have gotten a divorce feel. It makes me think of people who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock. It makes me think of someone who's been raped or abused--or even someone who has raped or abused another. It makes me think of someone caught in alcoholism or homosexual desires or gambling or maybe a sin not so "severe." Maybe someone who struggles with anger management or anxiety or materialism or perfectionism.

I had been given the wonderful gift of understanding my identity in Christ, but in the process, I had forgotten how those who do feel labeled feel. But Jesus has once again used this situation for good. Now I can say that I really, truly understand.
I understand how it feels to be having a conversation with someone and the whole time you can't help but wonder what they're thinking of you and if they know what you've done or what's happened to you.
I understand how it feels to have it seem like everyone is acting differently around you because they're not sure how you'll react.
I understand how it feels to feel like this label is going to define the rest of your life.

Without this situation, I wouldn't be able to relate to those who feel labeled and honestly be able to tell them that I know how they feel. I wouldn't be able to offer them compassion and an understanding heart. The most I would probably be able to say is "I'm so sorry. Can I pray for you?" But now I'll be able to do and say so much more!

I'll be able to tell them about my personal experience (not some friend that I heard about). I'll be able to share with them how hard and painful and frustrating the process of healing is. I'll be able to help them make daily choices that lead towards healing rather than bitterness. I'll be able to encourage them to keep fighting for the peace & joy that Jesus offers us.

I'll be able to give them CD's with songs like "Remind Me Once Again" on it. I'll be able to point them to the countless words of affirmation from the Lord of how He feels about them specifically. I'll be able to empathize with them that I know how hard it can be to believe that those words are actually true about them, but that we need to fight to believe the Truth.

I'm remembering. Each day, my identity is being more and more reminded of who I am in Christ. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm getting there. God is good :)

"I can't remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain."