The Lord said to Moses: "Tell your brother Aaron that he is not to come whenever he chooses into the Most Holy Place...or else he will die." --Leviticus 16:2
So then just what must Aaron do to enter the Most Holy Place? Simple!
#1-Bring a young bull for a sin offering
#2-Bring a ram for a burnt offering
#3-Bathe himself with water
#4-Put on the sacred garments: tunic, undergarments, sash, tunic
#5-Take 2 male goats for a sin offering from the Israelites
#6-Take a ram for a burnt offering from the Israelites
#7-Offer the bull for his own sin offering to make atonement for himself
#8-Cast lots for the 2 goats--one as a sacrifice, the other as a scapegoat
#9-Sacrifice the one to the Lord
#10-Make atonement with the scapegoat by sending it into the wilderness
#11-Take a censer full of burning coals from the altar & 2 handfuls of finely ground incense behind the curtain
#12-Put the incense on the fire so that the smoke from it will conceal the atonement cover above the tablets of the covenant law, so he will not die.
#13-Sprinkle with his fingers some of the bull's blood on the front of the atonement cover
#14-Sprinkle the blood 7 times before the atonement cover
#15-Slaughter the goat for the sin offering for the people.
#16-Take the blood behind the curtain and do the same thing as with the bull's blood.
Alright, so the Most Holy Place is atoned for now, but there's still the altar and the tent of meeting which involves more sprinkling of blood, etc.
Then Aaron must take the scapegoat & lay hands on its head, confessing over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites--and put them on the goat's head. A man appointed for the task will lead him into the wilderness. He must bathe himself with water before coming back into the camp.
Then go into the tent of meeting, take of the sacred garments & leave them there. Then he shall bathe with water & put on his regular garments again.
Now he can sacrifice the burnt offerings for both himself & for the people. This will also make atonement.
And he shall burn the fat from the sin offering on the altar. Also they should take the hides, flesh, & intestines outside of the camp and burn them. That man must bathe before he comes back, too.
Twenty-nine verses later, we're finished! Simple, huh? Maybe not...
The Lord says: "...on this day, atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the Lord, you will be clean from all your sins....This is to be the lasting ordinance for you: Atonement is to be made once a year for all the sins of the Israelites."
I think Leviticus kind of has a bad rap in the Bible because of all the laws & details. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't skim through a few of the chapters on mold & bodily discharge BUT this chapter 16, details and all, is exactly what Hebrews 10 is talking about when it says...
"The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming...For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship...But those sacrifices are an annual reminder of sins. It is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.
"Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when THIS Priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God and since that time He waits for His enemies to be made His footstool. For by ONE sacrifice HE has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."
So not only are we made perfect forever, but it gets better! Instead of trying to memorize all these laws, God promised to put His laws in our hearts and to write them on our minds. This is the Holy Spirit! Can you imagine trying to follow God without the Holy Spirit? I think it can be easy to criticize the Israelites for being so fickle and wanting to go back to Egypt and what not, but they didn't have the Holy Spirit! We would be just the same as them if we didn't have the Holy Spirit helping us each step of the way.
And sometimes we ARE the same even with Holy Spirit in us. Holy Spirit wants to help us & make us holy, but He's a gentleman. He's not going to force Himself on you if you're not asking or surrendering. Take a moment and think about this :: Who do you think you're like more often--Jesus, our ultimate example of a life lived by the Holy Spirit--or the Israelites--a people that turned to idols, failed to trust God, complained a lot, and failed in the commitment to God frequently? Take advantage of the GREAT GIFT of the Holy Spirit in you. Tell Him right now that you want to start being more like Jesus and less like the Israelites.
God promised in Jer. 31:34 that our sins and lawless acts, He will remember no more. And the Hebrews author says quite plainly: "Where sins have been forgiven, sacrifices are no longer necessary!"
What a drastic difference between the verse in Leviticus I started this post off with and this one in Hebrews 10: "Therefore, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new & living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a GREAT Priest over the house of God...
[because of ALL that] ...let us DRAW NEAR TO GOD with a sincere heart and with FULL assurance that our faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is FAITHFUL."
He IS faithful! Start off your day praising our faithful & great High Priest. Thank God that you can draw near to Him boldly & with confidence, whenever you want, unlike Aaron who would die. Thank Jesus for His perfect sacrifice. As you sit in the Most Holy Place, tell Holy Spirit that you want to be more & more like Jesus. Tell God that the only sacrifice that you want to give now is your life. Because He is so, so, so worthy. He is so worth giving everything for. He is the only One worth "wasting your life" on. Ask Him to show you where you are actually wasting your life on other things. Tell Him that you want to be used by Him in any way that He chooses. Ask Him to help you surrender each day. Amen!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Exodus
On my way through Exodus now...There could be a lot to be written about the connections between God bringing the Israelites up out of slavery in Egypt and bringing His people up out of slavery to sin. I encourage you to read over the first few chapters of Exodus & think of it as God doing all those things for YOU in order to rescue you from your slavery! Especially read over Moses & Miriam's song of Deliverance in Exodus 15 as a song of praise for your own deliverance!
Also, if you're like me, and you can't get over how ridiculous the Israelites are for wanting to go back to Egypt so often, then you'll come to humbly realize that you actually do the same thing a lot when you think about going back to our "easier" life of sin rather than choosing to cling to God and trust His ways completely.
Another thing in Exodus is all the details about the ark of the covenant, consecrating the priests, how to make sacrifices, etc. In church this morning, we celebrated the Lord's Supper, and it just made me think all the more about how big of deal it is that we can approach God's throne with boldness & confidence because--and only because--of Christ's blood. I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like if that curtain hadn't been torn in two. Sure, the details in Exodus might get a little mundane, but it certainly shows how serious approaching God's Presence is. This is not a privilege that we New Testament Christians should take lightly!
And now for a verse that really stuck out to me when reading today: Exodus 34:14 AMP--"For you shall worship no other god; for the Lord, Whose name is Jealous, is a jealous (impassioned) God..."
I love that word impassioned! And then to think that this is so much of who God is that He says His very Name is Jealous! Check out the Dictionary definition for impassioned: filled with passion or zeal : showing great warmth or intensity of feeling
Synonyms
Also, if you're like me, and you can't get over how ridiculous the Israelites are for wanting to go back to Egypt so often, then you'll come to humbly realize that you actually do the same thing a lot when you think about going back to our "easier" life of sin rather than choosing to cling to God and trust His ways completely.
Another thing in Exodus is all the details about the ark of the covenant, consecrating the priests, how to make sacrifices, etc. In church this morning, we celebrated the Lord's Supper, and it just made me think all the more about how big of deal it is that we can approach God's throne with boldness & confidence because--and only because--of Christ's blood. I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like if that curtain hadn't been torn in two. Sure, the details in Exodus might get a little mundane, but it certainly shows how serious approaching God's Presence is. This is not a privilege that we New Testament Christians should take lightly!
And now for a verse that really stuck out to me when reading today: Exodus 34:14 AMP--"For you shall worship no other god; for the Lord, Whose name is Jealous, is a jealous (impassioned) God..."
I love that word impassioned! And then to think that this is so much of who God is that He says His very Name is Jealous! Check out the Dictionary definition for impassioned: filled with passion or zeal : showing great warmth or intensity of feeling
Synonyms
- ardent, blazing, burning, charged, demonstrative,emotional, fervid, feverish, fiery, flaming, glowing, hot-blooded, fervent, incandescent, intense, passional, passionate, perfervid, red-hot, religious, superheated, torrid, vehement, warm, warm-blooded
- Antonyms: cold, cool, dispassionate, emotionless, impassive,unemotional
- I am so thankful that we have a God that shows great warmth and intense feelings for His people, rather than a cold, emotionless, impassive god. When we truly know God and His impassioned character, why would we ever want to worship any other god?? Don't you think that's what God was longing for the Israelites to understand about Him all along? I think that's what He still longs for His people to know about Him--He is FULL of passion for us!
- And all that made me think of a paper I wrote my junior year on discipleship for CORE 399. I've been cleaning out my computer and came upon it a while back. You can read the whole thing HERE if you're curious but the following paragraphs are really what applies to the jealousy idea. For a little background--protagonists are the good guys in the movies, antagonists are the bad guys. :)
- So who is God to you--the antagonist or protagonist? Have you come to realize yet that this life is not about you? Ask the Lord to reveal more of that His Name--Jealous & Impassioned--really means. Ask Him to show you that His Story is the only one truly worthy of being followed. Tell Him that you want Him to be the protagonist from here on out. Thank Him for being the gracious antagonist letting your story fall apart.
In an individualistic narrative, we are the protagonist. We think the story is centered on ourselves and that we are the most important. Essentially, this has been human’s problem from the day that we fell into sin. When Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden tree, they represented all of us telling God that we know better than Him, that we cannot trust Him to guide us, and that we must make the decisions on our own for how to best live our life. We became individualistic and independent, believing that we could live life on our own without relying on God every step of the way.
Ever since that day, God, filled with perfect and holy jealousy for His Beloved, has been fighting for our hearts to come back to Him. We defined the antagonist as anyone who gets in the way of our story’s plot, and I believe that when we are a disciple of anyone or anything but Jesus Christ, our antagonist is God Himself. He will do anything to get His Beloved to fall in love with their Bridegroom again. He graciously lets our other stories fall apart until we realize that we are not intended to be the protagonist—God is.
The key to being a disciple of Jesus Christ is realizing that we are not intended to be the protagonist in our story of life. When we are the protagonist, we are on a never-ending search to find satisfaction, but that will never be found until we fully surrender our stories to God and let Him be the protagonist. We need to recognize the privilege God has given us in being able to have a part—regardless of the size—in His story of Redemption and bringing the Kingdom here to earth.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Genesis
My one & only New Year's Resolution was to read through the Bible like I would any other book. Meaning that I start at the beginning and read my way through each day. Some days I have an hour to read, other days only 10 minutes. (I'm not very good at the Daily Plans to read through the Bible in a year thing.) I just want to get through it all in a relatively short amount of time. But the way it's not like any other book is that it is living & active! I want Holy Spirit to give me new revelations of each story within the overarching story.
So I just finished Genesis & was reminded of what I read in another book, Living Water by Brother Yun, that talked about why God so often refers to Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. When people make an oath, they swear by someone higher than them. God can't do that. So this is His way of swearing by Himself. Referring to Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is a reminder of His unconditional faithfulness to keep His covenant & promises. So when He reminds His people of this, it's like He's saying, "I haven't broken a promise yet, so you can trust Me to keep this next one, too."
I also think that reading through the stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is an encouragement to any Christian. After all, those three men don't exactly have the best reputation all the time. Sure, Abraham is remembered for his faith when he was willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac. But there were also times when he lied about Sarah being his sister so that he wouldn't be killed. Isaac did the same thing with his wife Rebekah. And Jacob is known as the Deceiver & for wrestling with God. Isn't that encouraging that none of those examples of lack of faith caused God to give up and find someone else to establish a covenant with? He was committed forever.
I have a guess that God knew what He was getting into before He even made the covenant, and He was willing to anyway. Why? Well, I think one of the reasons was that God wanted a family. He's a very relational Being. He's the Creator of love. He is love. I think He wanted a family to have relationship with and to manifest His love with. He doesn't need us, but He wants us! It makes me think of this song: I Knew what I was Getting Into
God knew what He was getting into when He called Abraham. He knew what He was getting into when He called you, too! He's not shocked by your weaknesses, your lack of trust, or your failures. He understands your brokenness. He knows that Satan is fighting against your efforts to walk with God. He just wants your repentant heart. He wants you to humbly come to Him and let Him help you. (More on this in Exodus) He wants you to be in a faithful, committed relationship with Him. If He can stick with Abraham's family through all the generations, surely He can stick with you. Rejoice in that truth! I hope that truth makes you fall more in love with God today. And each time that you hear or read about God being the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I hope that you are reminded of God's faithfulness to both His family and to YOU specifically.
So I just finished Genesis & was reminded of what I read in another book, Living Water by Brother Yun, that talked about why God so often refers to Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. When people make an oath, they swear by someone higher than them. God can't do that. So this is His way of swearing by Himself. Referring to Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is a reminder of His unconditional faithfulness to keep His covenant & promises. So when He reminds His people of this, it's like He's saying, "I haven't broken a promise yet, so you can trust Me to keep this next one, too."
I also think that reading through the stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is an encouragement to any Christian. After all, those three men don't exactly have the best reputation all the time. Sure, Abraham is remembered for his faith when he was willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac. But there were also times when he lied about Sarah being his sister so that he wouldn't be killed. Isaac did the same thing with his wife Rebekah. And Jacob is known as the Deceiver & for wrestling with God. Isn't that encouraging that none of those examples of lack of faith caused God to give up and find someone else to establish a covenant with? He was committed forever.
I have a guess that God knew what He was getting into before He even made the covenant, and He was willing to anyway. Why? Well, I think one of the reasons was that God wanted a family. He's a very relational Being. He's the Creator of love. He is love. I think He wanted a family to have relationship with and to manifest His love with. He doesn't need us, but He wants us! It makes me think of this song: I Knew what I was Getting Into
God knew what He was getting into when He called Abraham. He knew what He was getting into when He called you, too! He's not shocked by your weaknesses, your lack of trust, or your failures. He understands your brokenness. He knows that Satan is fighting against your efforts to walk with God. He just wants your repentant heart. He wants you to humbly come to Him and let Him help you. (More on this in Exodus) He wants you to be in a faithful, committed relationship with Him. If He can stick with Abraham's family through all the generations, surely He can stick with you. Rejoice in that truth! I hope that truth makes you fall more in love with God today. And each time that you hear or read about God being the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I hope that you are reminded of God's faithfulness to both His family and to YOU specifically.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
2013
I've said this many times before: this blog is just as much for myself, if not more so, than it is for you. I wanted to record 2013 and typing is faster & easier than writing :) I hope you're blessed & encouraged by God's work and blessings in my life this past year though, as well!
Well, 2013 was an interesting year to say the least. A million other words could go in that spot, but I'm sticking with that one for now. It must be somewhat interesting to you the fact that you're taking the time to read this, right? And really, I think anyone's life can be interesting even in the most mundane situations if they choose to let God run the show. He's a very interesting Person. :)
The end of of 2012 was spent at the OneThing conference in Kansas City. I still often think about the messages I heard there by some great speakers. I didn't go to it in KC this year, but I did get a chance to listen to a few of the messages at the HOME building here in Sioux Center. Not quite the same as being there, but still good. :)
New Years Eve 2012 was spent celebrating the marriage of my college friends Jake & Lydia Buss! A bunch of us friends got a hotel room that night and had a lot of fun. The following few days involved a lot of wedding planning in a short amount of time. A lot of people were surprised as how much I got accomplished in like 3 days. What can I say?? I'm a planner, organized, and probably had a secret board or two on Pinterest dedicated to this special event. I could look back on all that planning as worthless and saddening, but instead, I'm choosing to be thankful to see how not a big deal wedding planning has to be. I mean, sure, I could put hours and hours and hours into planning my wedding someday, but really, it's not that necessary. All the stuff I was seeing on Pinterest about the 18 month timelines was kind of freaking me out, but now I'm convinced that, if God is okay with it, my next engagement would only have to be about 3 months and I could comfortably plan my next wedding and it can be just as special as a wedding that took 2 years to plan.
**I'll take this opportunity to offer a word of encouragement to any of you soon to be engaged ladies out there that are wondering when your guy's gonna pop the question :: just relax. You will never, ever get this time in your life back again. Embrace it, don't hate it! (Well, unless you have my situation, but that's beside the point :]... )Anyway, this time of anticipation of when is he gonna ask and how is it gonna be done, can be super fun & exciting if you choose to see it that way. Or you can choose to listen to the Pinterest timelines and freak out about how you're never gonna get it all done in time. I hope you choose the former. Because where there's a will there is a way. Sure, you might not get to reserve the "perfect" photographer, reception hall, caterer, etc. But there are others out there. They might not be your idea of perfect, but they'll do just fine in helping you two celebrate your marriage. I promise. :) Plus, I can almost guarantee that your man will appreciate you getting off his back. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he'll ask. Maybe not when you'd want, but he will.
After my few days of planning, I was off to Lynden, WA for my first session of student teaching. My mentor teacher, Sandy Van Zonneveld, was seriously awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher to learn from. I was seriously questioning if I even wanted to teach in a classroom and Mrs. Van showed me that legitimately teaching Christianly in the classroom is very possible. She had a ton of really neat ideas of how to get those 6th graders to start seriously thinking about their faith and what it means in their lives. I'm still not sure if I'll ever teach full-time in a classroom setting, but regardless, I am very thankful for Mrs. Van and her mentoring me during that time! :)
My second session of student teaching was at Sanborn Christian School. I got to live at home & commute the 10 minutes to school every day. Often days after school, I would get to stop by my grandparents home for some homemade goodies, tea, and to work on a puzzle. I will always treasure those times with them. My actual student teaching at SCS isn't quite as memorable and probably part of that was because of everything else that was going on at the time at home. I'm thankful for the gracious teachers I worked with there, as well. I also spent quite a few afternoons with my sister-in-law and nephews at their home. Becky was always willing to offer a listening ear to me and other times it was just nice to goof around with my nephews and forget about everything else for a while. I don't know what I would do without those kiddos. :)
After round 2 of student teaching came graduation. I remember it being a lot harder that I thought it would be. I hated having everyone ask me what I was going to do now and me having to try to explain in minimal details something about how I thought my life was planned out to move to WA and hopefully find a teaching or youth ministry job there, but now I have absolutely no plans. I have absolutely no idea what God is going to do with me, and I'm just trying to cling to Him and wait. It was difficult, but it also helped me move past clinging to any hope that this relationship still might work out and move on to the next stage of grief--anger & resentment. Again, in it's own way, this was a gift, as well. Because, yeah, I really did need to move on. :)
The month of May was kind of a blur. I got a job at a greenhouse and worked there a bunch. It was nice to get out of the house and was a bit of a distraction too. I did still have plenty of time to think though, which was good for me to process more of my feelings of resentment and move on towards acceptance. Isn't it cool how even a mundane job at a greenhouse can be a gift from God and exactly what He knew you needed? :)
Then in June, sista Christa came home! Again, what a gift from God. She came home a month earlier than usual and was so helpful in talking through things with me. I know I had others around to talk to me, but I think Christa just understood so much more of the situation and of myself. She helped a bunch :) Plus we had a lot of fun together and with Becky & the nephews. I really didn't feel guilty one bit about now having a job. :)
Near the end of June, I accepted an assistant coach position at Dordt. I remember being shocked that my coach was calling me asking if I would be willing to come back to Dordt's program as a coach. I started in early August and it lasted all the way until early December. Dordt did really well & finished 11th in the nation! It was definitely different being a coach rather than a teammate to the girls, but overall, I enjoyed it! I wouldn't say coaching is necessarily my passion, but I loved being able to serve my coach and the girls and doing what I could to clear up any communication issues that I might have recognized from years before. :)
Because I knew I would be quite busy with volleyball, I decided that it wouldn't be wise to take on a full-time teaching position. Instead, I applied as a substitute at a few of the local schools. I've subbed for 2nd graders all the way up to seniors in high school. It's all been enjoyable and a good learning experience. It also helped verify for me that I really love & connect well with middle schoolers. I've also really enjoyed the variety & flexibility that comes with this job. Variety really is the spice of life! :)
I've also been blessed to be part of the middle school youth group at 1st Ref. again this year. Because I sub at SC Middle School quite a bit, I get to eat lunch with a lot of the girls that I know from youth group & connect with them even more. This month I will also be coaching their AAU volleyball team. :)
I think my favorite thing about 2013 is the relationships part. Even though one really big relationship in my life got broken apart, I've had many, many other special relationships spring up! I already mentioned my time spent with my grandparents in Sanborn. I've also grown closer to my other grandma. I treasure her emails of encouragement to me.
I also grew closer to my parents and am learning to not wait until they ask me about my life, but to just tell them--because they care a lot about me and want to know. :)
Most surprisingly & unexpected to me is all the friendships that I've made with people from Dordt this year! A lot of the people that I'm friends with now I knew as acquaintances all throughout college but never really got to know. Now I do and it's just super great! :) In a lot of ways I feel like I'm a senior again for all the good reasons and none of the not so good. I'm just so blessed to be able to live on Dordt's campus. It makes it so convenient for me to stop by a friend's apartment, for my brother and cousins to stop by, and for me to run over to the Rec Center for practice or to workout. Plus, I love living by myself right now, being able to decorate the entire place, and have IHOP livestream playing all the time without worrying about annoying any roommate. :) :) Not to mention the rent is a very nice price!
What else to say? God is good. All the time. I love His work in my life. He's taught me how to rest, to wait on Him, and to stop trying to plan the future. Today in Jesus Calling it said "One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events." God gave me understanding of this fact big time this year. Sometimes I just amaze myself in how at rest I am now. Sure, there are still days when I am weak and start to let worry creep in. But overall I am just very much at peace that God has everything under control and no matter how much I think about it, it's not going to change anything. God's proven to me big time that His ways are so much better than mine. I really don't want control over my life anyway--God does such a better job of running the show.
Here's to seeing what He does in 2014! :)
Well, 2013 was an interesting year to say the least. A million other words could go in that spot, but I'm sticking with that one for now. It must be somewhat interesting to you the fact that you're taking the time to read this, right? And really, I think anyone's life can be interesting even in the most mundane situations if they choose to let God run the show. He's a very interesting Person. :)
The end of of 2012 was spent at the OneThing conference in Kansas City. I still often think about the messages I heard there by some great speakers. I didn't go to it in KC this year, but I did get a chance to listen to a few of the messages at the HOME building here in Sioux Center. Not quite the same as being there, but still good. :)
New Years Eve 2012 was spent celebrating the marriage of my college friends Jake & Lydia Buss! A bunch of us friends got a hotel room that night and had a lot of fun. The following few days involved a lot of wedding planning in a short amount of time. A lot of people were surprised as how much I got accomplished in like 3 days. What can I say?? I'm a planner, organized, and probably had a secret board or two on Pinterest dedicated to this special event. I could look back on all that planning as worthless and saddening, but instead, I'm choosing to be thankful to see how not a big deal wedding planning has to be. I mean, sure, I could put hours and hours and hours into planning my wedding someday, but really, it's not that necessary. All the stuff I was seeing on Pinterest about the 18 month timelines was kind of freaking me out, but now I'm convinced that, if God is okay with it, my next engagement would only have to be about 3 months and I could comfortably plan my next wedding and it can be just as special as a wedding that took 2 years to plan.
**I'll take this opportunity to offer a word of encouragement to any of you soon to be engaged ladies out there that are wondering when your guy's gonna pop the question :: just relax. You will never, ever get this time in your life back again. Embrace it, don't hate it! (Well, unless you have my situation, but that's beside the point :]... )Anyway, this time of anticipation of when is he gonna ask and how is it gonna be done, can be super fun & exciting if you choose to see it that way. Or you can choose to listen to the Pinterest timelines and freak out about how you're never gonna get it all done in time. I hope you choose the former. Because where there's a will there is a way. Sure, you might not get to reserve the "perfect" photographer, reception hall, caterer, etc. But there are others out there. They might not be your idea of perfect, but they'll do just fine in helping you two celebrate your marriage. I promise. :) Plus, I can almost guarantee that your man will appreciate you getting off his back. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he'll ask. Maybe not when you'd want, but he will.
After my few days of planning, I was off to Lynden, WA for my first session of student teaching. My mentor teacher, Sandy Van Zonneveld, was seriously awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher to learn from. I was seriously questioning if I even wanted to teach in a classroom and Mrs. Van showed me that legitimately teaching Christianly in the classroom is very possible. She had a ton of really neat ideas of how to get those 6th graders to start seriously thinking about their faith and what it means in their lives. I'm still not sure if I'll ever teach full-time in a classroom setting, but regardless, I am very thankful for Mrs. Van and her mentoring me during that time! :)
My second session of student teaching was at Sanborn Christian School. I got to live at home & commute the 10 minutes to school every day. Often days after school, I would get to stop by my grandparents home for some homemade goodies, tea, and to work on a puzzle. I will always treasure those times with them. My actual student teaching at SCS isn't quite as memorable and probably part of that was because of everything else that was going on at the time at home. I'm thankful for the gracious teachers I worked with there, as well. I also spent quite a few afternoons with my sister-in-law and nephews at their home. Becky was always willing to offer a listening ear to me and other times it was just nice to goof around with my nephews and forget about everything else for a while. I don't know what I would do without those kiddos. :)
After round 2 of student teaching came graduation. I remember it being a lot harder that I thought it would be. I hated having everyone ask me what I was going to do now and me having to try to explain in minimal details something about how I thought my life was planned out to move to WA and hopefully find a teaching or youth ministry job there, but now I have absolutely no plans. I have absolutely no idea what God is going to do with me, and I'm just trying to cling to Him and wait. It was difficult, but it also helped me move past clinging to any hope that this relationship still might work out and move on to the next stage of grief--anger & resentment. Again, in it's own way, this was a gift, as well. Because, yeah, I really did need to move on. :)
The month of May was kind of a blur. I got a job at a greenhouse and worked there a bunch. It was nice to get out of the house and was a bit of a distraction too. I did still have plenty of time to think though, which was good for me to process more of my feelings of resentment and move on towards acceptance. Isn't it cool how even a mundane job at a greenhouse can be a gift from God and exactly what He knew you needed? :)
Then in June, sista Christa came home! Again, what a gift from God. She came home a month earlier than usual and was so helpful in talking through things with me. I know I had others around to talk to me, but I think Christa just understood so much more of the situation and of myself. She helped a bunch :) Plus we had a lot of fun together and with Becky & the nephews. I really didn't feel guilty one bit about now having a job. :)
Near the end of June, I accepted an assistant coach position at Dordt. I remember being shocked that my coach was calling me asking if I would be willing to come back to Dordt's program as a coach. I started in early August and it lasted all the way until early December. Dordt did really well & finished 11th in the nation! It was definitely different being a coach rather than a teammate to the girls, but overall, I enjoyed it! I wouldn't say coaching is necessarily my passion, but I loved being able to serve my coach and the girls and doing what I could to clear up any communication issues that I might have recognized from years before. :)
Because I knew I would be quite busy with volleyball, I decided that it wouldn't be wise to take on a full-time teaching position. Instead, I applied as a substitute at a few of the local schools. I've subbed for 2nd graders all the way up to seniors in high school. It's all been enjoyable and a good learning experience. It also helped verify for me that I really love & connect well with middle schoolers. I've also really enjoyed the variety & flexibility that comes with this job. Variety really is the spice of life! :)
I've also been blessed to be part of the middle school youth group at 1st Ref. again this year. Because I sub at SC Middle School quite a bit, I get to eat lunch with a lot of the girls that I know from youth group & connect with them even more. This month I will also be coaching their AAU volleyball team. :)
I think my favorite thing about 2013 is the relationships part. Even though one really big relationship in my life got broken apart, I've had many, many other special relationships spring up! I already mentioned my time spent with my grandparents in Sanborn. I've also grown closer to my other grandma. I treasure her emails of encouragement to me.
I also grew closer to my parents and am learning to not wait until they ask me about my life, but to just tell them--because they care a lot about me and want to know. :)
Most surprisingly & unexpected to me is all the friendships that I've made with people from Dordt this year! A lot of the people that I'm friends with now I knew as acquaintances all throughout college but never really got to know. Now I do and it's just super great! :) In a lot of ways I feel like I'm a senior again for all the good reasons and none of the not so good. I'm just so blessed to be able to live on Dordt's campus. It makes it so convenient for me to stop by a friend's apartment, for my brother and cousins to stop by, and for me to run over to the Rec Center for practice or to workout. Plus, I love living by myself right now, being able to decorate the entire place, and have IHOP livestream playing all the time without worrying about annoying any roommate. :) :) Not to mention the rent is a very nice price!
What else to say? God is good. All the time. I love His work in my life. He's taught me how to rest, to wait on Him, and to stop trying to plan the future. Today in Jesus Calling it said "One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events." God gave me understanding of this fact big time this year. Sometimes I just amaze myself in how at rest I am now. Sure, there are still days when I am weak and start to let worry creep in. But overall I am just very much at peace that God has everything under control and no matter how much I think about it, it's not going to change anything. God's proven to me big time that His ways are so much better than mine. I really don't want control over my life anyway--God does such a better job of running the show.
Here's to seeing what He does in 2014! :)
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