Answering with Questions

I was journaling this morning and it ended up basically being a dialogue between God and me. It's not that I actually heard Him ask me these questions, but I felt like Holy Spirit put them on my mind. And if you read the gospels, Jesus is famous for answering His disciples with another question. So here's my imagined dialogue between God and me that I think could apply to a lot of situations. You can probably put your own situation into it.

If only I could... If only they would... If only You would...

What are you really asking?

...for life to be easier.

So if only life were easier, then what?

Then I wouldn't fail so much.

Fail...fail by whose standards?

Mine I guess...I just feel like I'm letting You down.

Why would you feel that?

Because I can't seem to [fill in the blank] get the desire for an earthly husband to go away! I feel like I'm doing a bad job of waiting on You. I'm getting more and more impatient.

So if I made life easier for you, then what do you think would happen?

Well, I guess I'm hoping that it would be easier for me to wait.

Okay. Well, can you describe this "easier" life for me?

[Fill in the blank] I wouldn't be surrounded with people asking me if I'm married or telling me they know some guys to set me up with. I wouldn't have a bunch of guy friends that make it hard for me to just...wonder. I wouldn't be living in a town where it's super uncommon to have single twenty-somethings. Or maybe I would just not have a desire to get married at all and be content being single the rest of my life!

Do you know what you're really asking?

I guess I'm asking for You to make it easier for me to rely on my own strength to wait. 

Exactly. Truth is, I don't have you leaving the place/situation you're in any time real soon. Could you ask for something else?

I could ask for more strength and empowerment from You to wait on You. Maybe I should even be asking for my life to be harder so that I have to rely on You all the more. 

That's more like it. No one who hopes in Me will ever be put to shame or disappointed.

But I have been disappointed...

No one who hopes in ME will ever be put to shame or disappointed.

That must mean that my hope wasn't in You. My hope was in someone or something else. Show me how to hope in You. Will You help me?

Isn't My Word full of that promise? Come to Me. My yoke is easy & my burden is light.

I do come to You, Jesus. I don't want an easier life. I don't want it to be easier for me to wait on my own strength. I want You to be my strength. Your burden is light. Even if life was easier for me, my burden would still find a way to be heavy. It's only light when I come to You. I want whatever it takes for me to only, wholly rely on You. You promise time and again to help me. I believe that You will. You promise that IF I hope in You, I will not be put to shame or disappointed. I believe that, too. Keep me from putting my hope anywhere else. Keep me from looking anywhere else but You.